Tomorrow I head off to New York. Today was my last day in Nebraska (thank god!!). I can't wait to get out of this backwards state and onto bigger and better with the love of my life, @Lorac. If all goes as planned I will be on the road by no latter than 5:00 p.m. Hopefully sooner. A lot of it depends on when the people who I've hired to load my moving truck arrive. They're scheduled to arrive anywhere from 12:30 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. There's a move just ahead of mine that they're doing. I hope it do
OMG the time is ticking away a little faster... I still have so much to do and so many loose ends to tie up. In 2 days I leave the home I've lived in for 20 years to begin my amazing life with @Lorac. The anticipation of finally being with him has been SO strong that I'm finding it hard to sleep the past few days. A meeting that's been nearly 12 years in the making. He's everything I've ever wanted or needed. Everything about him makes me smile. My friend Amber recently commented that when I'm w
A week from today I will leave on my way to the greatest love I've ever known! OMG I am soooo excited. A little scared too, but... more excited! I had a dream the other night (as I usually do) about him. Our first new year's eve together. We were holding each other and he gave me my FIRST EVER new year's kiss. Yeah... I've never had that at midnight before. And I can't think of anyone else I want it more from. I can't wait to experience all my "firsts" with him.
Through most of my relation
The time is getting closer and with each day I get a little more nervous. Not so much nervous about the move or the drive, but more nervous about meeting @Lorac. In my heart I know he loves me and nothing could change that, but... in the doubting pessimistic part of my brain I'm kinda scared. Thoughts of "what if..." keep circling in my head. I know that they're not realistic and won't come to pass. He loves me like no other and I know it. He's seen my bad and loves me in spite of it as I do him
Why must I have a heart and feel such things as pain and guilt? Why is it that even when you know you are doing the right thing it hurts to do it? I am coming home to the most wonderful person I've ever been blessed to have in my life. My knight in shining armor, my reason for existing, the one who knocked down every wall of resistance I had.
I've not had anyone in my life make me want to be close. Sure I've been in relationships, but none came anywhere close to being a real love as I fee
Yeah I know there's been a lot of mush stuff in my blog lately. Let me explain... @Lorac and I have been together nearly 12 years. Being together in an offline world has always wished and wanted, but it was never sure if it would happen. Well... it's happening!! Finally!! So forgive me if I'm a little excited and I post a lot about it. You have NO idea how BIG this is for us!
September 1st I take off in a 16 foot rental truck to drive over 1000 miles to the love of my life. The timer in th
A week and and half and I'll be home... forever!
Without you, there's no change
My nights and days are gray
If I reached out and touched the rain
It wouldn't feel the same
Without you, I'd be lost
I'd slip down from the top
I'd slide down so low
Girl, you'd never, never know
Without you, without you
A sailor lost at sea
Without you, woman
The world comes down on me
Without you in my life
I'd slowly wilt and die
But with you by my side
You're the reason
@Lorac I love you. I'll never get enough of telling you or of hearing it. We've been through a lot and through all that it's shown me where I belong. Not only belong, but NEED to be. I need you. I can't breathe without you. If I'm a beautiful soul it's because it's touched yours.
2 weeks and a day, baby and I'll be home.... for good.
Would you help me to find a new way
Would you guide me through all this again
Don't let me slip away
I need you here 'till the very end
Made of Scars by Stone Sour
This one came from looking, this one opened twice
These two seemed smooth as silk, flush against my eyes
This one need stitches, and this one came from rings
This one isn't even there, but I feel it more because you don't care
Yeah, cut right into me
Yeah, because I am made of scars
Yes, I am made of scars
This one had it coming, this one found a vein
This one was an accident, but never gave me pain
This one was my father's, and this one y
No one else has ever loved me
No one else has ever tried
I never understood
How much I could take
Then I saw the worst was over
When I laid my eyes on you
It was all that I could do to know my place
Out of all the vast illusions
Out of all the dreams come true
I was gone until
I finally saw your face
If you cried out for more
If you reached out for me
I would run into the storm
Just to keep you here with me
I have gone beyond my years
I've wasted half my lif
For @Lorac -- the love of my life and reason my heart keeps beating...
Mary Lambert - So Far Away
I'm million miles away from anywhere
Slide my hand across the sheets
Pretend you're there But missing you is a slow burn
Every time the earth turns
I'm reminded that night is only half the time
Even when I'm hurting
I know this is worth it
Tell me it'll be alright
Gotta give me something
To get me through the nothing
One more night
Kiss me like the world is gonna d
I have always told those I care about they are forgiven before they ever fuck up. It is called love. More so Unconditional Love. When I say something you generally can take it to the bank as fact! And yet it goes in some peoples ears and out the other. I put myself out there for those who really matter to me. Almost like being naked for the world. No armor No Protection. And I really trust those people. But then it is like some of them decide to take it for granted and take that as a weakness.
Sometimes we say or do things that we see as unforgivable, but if we are truly loved we can be forgiven.... with time. The important thing is to realize our mistake, admit to it, and try to not do it again. In other words... grow up. Sometimes growing up hurts. Sometimes growing up means we have to feel the hurt we've done to others through them. But maybe that's what we need to feel to realize why we can't do what we did or said again. I'm sorry isn't enough sometimes. Sometimes that sorry has
Trouble in paradise.
Well now the truth comes out.
I am merely a convenient dad.
Today I was cut deep.
Sadly someone just does not get that "Sorry" does not cut the pain off.
Words can sometimes hurt worse than physical. I love her and what is sad is I question that she loves me now.
My fear is becoming reality ... Someone walking away from me.
Time will tell 😞
Hello community friends! Soon my destiny will be fulfilled and I will be standing in front of the one I've loved for SO long. I can't wait to be able to share the rest of my life with him. New adventures await us! Stay tuned for the ongoing party that is our life!
I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Ugh 16 and a day's and it seems like 1 million years away still. So close yet so far away.
Every minute eats at my soul. Time can not move fast enough. And yet there is not enough time to make everything perfect for her arrival.