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ATTN: ON SEPT 2ND LORAC WILL BE GOING ON A TEMPORARY LEAVE FOR A BIT OF LONG NEEDED REST AND RELAXATION WITH TALYIA IN REAL LIFE.
DO NOT WORRY EVERYTHING IS FINE WE WILL BE BACK
WHEN WE RETURN. 

 

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  2. Talyia

    TOMORROW!

    Tomorrow I head off to New York. Today was my last day in Nebraska (thank god!!). I can't wait to get out of this backwards state and onto bigger and better with the love of my life, @Lorac. If all goes as planned I will be on the road by no latter than 5:00 p.m. Hopefully sooner. A lot of it depends on when the people who I've hired to load my moving truck arrive. They're scheduled to arrive anywhere from 12:30 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. There's a move just ahead of mine that they're doing. I hope it doesn't run over. There's been a bit of complication with getting my car transported. They've had trouble finding a driver to come get it and take it to NY. They were told, and agreed, that today was the last day to do it. Today came and went. No transporter. I'm hoping it gets resolved tomorrow. I am going to break down my computer in about an hour. I will then be limited to what my laptop can do. It's old and slow, but I can do a little. My art, Facebook, chatting with friends, etc... That's all I need really. I should be getting into NY Wednesday evening at maybe 8:00 p.m. or so. We're not planning on unloading the truck until maybe Friday. God... I can't believe the day I've waited for so long for is about to happen. Honey... I'm comin' home!!
  3. Talyia

    Closer

    OMG the time is ticking away a little faster... I still have so much to do and so many loose ends to tie up. In 2 days I leave the home I've lived in for 20 years to begin my amazing life with @Lorac. The anticipation of finally being with him has been SO strong that I'm finding it hard to sleep the past few days. A meeting that's been nearly 12 years in the making. He's everything I've ever wanted or needed. Everything about him makes me smile. My friend Amber recently commented that when I'm with him I truly smile. Not the kind of smile that you put on in front of the camera, but a big wide smile that makes my cheeks hurt. He makes me THAT happy! Oh gyod... I am SO incredibly hopelessly in love with him.
  4. Talyia

    Talyia Personal

    Various personal images from Talyia
  5. 6 days to impact, baby!!!!
    Soon our dream of finally being together will come true. You are absolutely everything I could've ever hoped for. I'm thankful to have found you and SO look forward to spending each and every second of the rest of my life with you. I love you endlessly, baby!!

    XOXOXOXOX Your Wife

  6. Talyia

    ONE WEEK!

    A week from today I will leave on my way to the greatest love I've ever known! OMG I am soooo excited. A little scared too, but... more excited! I had a dream the other night (as I usually do) about him. Our first new year's eve together. We were holding each other and he gave me my FIRST EVER new year's kiss. Yeah... I've never had that at midnight before. And I can't think of anyone else I want it more from. I can't wait to experience all my "firsts" with him. Through most of my relationships I've not really had much of a deep emotional connection.... if any at all. Those are the "firsts" that I look forward the most with @Lorac.
  7. The time is getting closer and with each day I get a little more nervous. Not so much nervous about the move or the drive, but more nervous about meeting @Lorac. In my heart I know he loves me and nothing could change that, but... in the doubting pessimistic part of my brain I'm kinda scared. Thoughts of "what if..." keep circling in my head. I know that they're not realistic and won't come to pass. He loves me like no other and I know it. He's seen my bad and loves me in spite of it as I do him. Any difficulties we face we're stronger together. We're able to talk and work through things. I've never been able to or wanted to do that that with anyone else before.... ever. He's worth it. The relationship is worth it. I feel like this is the ONE time in my life I've TRULY known contentment and love and happiness. He's made me feel like I'm important to not only him, but to the world. There's a reason for me. I have a purpose. I have value. He's helped me discover myself. He's helped me feel like the person I discovered is worth knowing. I love him so very very much. There's no real word to describe the deep intense feelings I have for @Lorac. He's the love of my life... and when that time ends he will be the love of my afterlife.
  8. @Lorac 11 days and counting... Soon I'll be there... forever with you! I love you so much, baby!!
  9. Why must I have a heart and feel such things as pain and guilt? Why is it that even when you know you are doing the right thing it hurts to do it? I am coming home to the most wonderful person I've ever been blessed to have in my life. My knight in shining armor, my reason for existing, the one who knocked down every wall of resistance I had. I've not had anyone in my life make me want to be close. Sure I've been in relationships, but none came anywhere close to being a real love as I feel with @Lorac. I've always kept a part of me hidden and away from people. I've always kept my feelings unknown even with those who were close. But... with him... I'm naked. And I love it! It wasn't always that way. Being this open and vulnerable has taken time and patience. I'm lucky he loved me enough to stick with me. He makes me comfortable. He makes me safe. He shows me daily that I'm loved and worth it. I'm his queen and he's very much my king.
  10. Yeah I know there's been a lot of mush stuff in my blog lately. Let me explain... @Lorac and I have been together nearly 12 years. Being together in an offline world has always wished and wanted, but it was never sure if it would happen. Well... it's happening!! Finally!! So forgive me if I'm a little excited and I post a lot about it. You have NO idea how BIG this is for us! September 1st I take off in a 16 foot rental truck to drive over 1000 miles to the love of my life. The timer in the forums slowly ticks down. It seems like it's moving in slow motion. Though I've been keeping myself extremely busy with packing and planning time is still moving slower than I'd like. @Lorac has been my biggest adventure, my loudest champion, my soulmate. I'm beyond excited to be able to take this giant leap that's been a long time coming. Too long. Soon.. the dream will be real. My life is about to get SOOOOO good!
  11. A week and and half and I'll be home... forever! Without you, there's no change My nights and days are gray If I reached out and touched the rain It wouldn't feel the same Without you, I'd be lost I'd slip down from the top I'd slide down so low Girl, you'd never, never know Without you, without you A sailor lost at sea Without you, woman The world comes down on me Without you in my life I'd slowly wilt and die But with you by my side You're the reason I'm alive But with you in my life You're the reason I'm alive But without you, without you Without you, there's no change My nights and days are gray If I reached out and touched the rain It wouldn't feel the same Without you, without you I could face a mountain But I could never climb alone I could start another day But how many, I don't know You're the reason, the sun shines down And the nights, they don't grow cold Only you that I'll hold when I'm young Only you, as we grow old Without you in my life I'd slowly wilt and die But with you by my side You're the reason I'm alive
  12. @Lorac I love you. I'll never get enough of telling you or of hearing it. We've been through a lot and through all that it's shown me where I belong. Not only belong, but NEED to be. I need you. I can't breathe without you. If I'm a beautiful soul it's because it's touched yours. 2 weeks and a day, baby and I'll be home.... for good. Would you help me to find a new way Would you guide me through all this again Don't let me slip away I need you here 'till the very end So stay here with me There's so much love in you're smile when I look at your face And I'm here to stay You're my first and my last loving And you're my escape So tell me you'll be right here with me Hearing your voice is like hearing an angel sing Through the good and bad and all in between You're the one I want and the one I need And I know You taught me to live each day To live each day like it's my last I won't make you turn away So come with me and never look back After all that we've been through You are still by my side and I'm grateful you're there and I, I love you You're my best friend and I want you to know I care So tell me you'll be right here with me Hearing your voice is like hearing an angel sing Through the good and bad and all in between You're the one I want and the one I need And I know So this is how we planned it knowing we won't be alone And this is how it's supposed to be when you knew it all along So tell me you'll be right here with me Hearing your voice is like hearing an angel sing Through the good and bad and all in between You're the one I want and the one I need So tell me you'll be right here with me Hearing your voice is like hearing an angel sing Through the good and bad and all in between You're the one I want and the one I need And I know, and I know, and I know Would you help me find my way home?
  13. Made of Scars by Stone Sour This one came from looking, this one opened twice These two seemed smooth as silk, flush against my eyes This one need stitches, and this one came from rings This one isn't even there, but I feel it more because you don't care Yeah, cut right into me Yeah, because I am made of scars Yes, I am made of scars This one had it coming, this one found a vein This one was an accident, but never gave me pain This one was my father's, and this one you can't see This one had me scared to death But I guess I should be glad I'm not dead And I will find a way Everything you are I will betray Oh, I swear that I will find a way Everything you are's inside me This one was the first one This one had a vice This one, here, I like to rub on dark and stormy nights This one was the last one I don't remember how But I remember blood and rain And I never saw it coming again Yeah, cut right into me Yeah, because I am made of scars
  14. No one else has ever loved me No one else has ever tried I never understood How much I could take Then I saw the worst was over When I laid my eyes on you It was all that I could do to know my place Out of all the vast illusions Out of all the dreams come true I was gone until I finally saw your face If you cried out for more If you reached out for me I would run into the storm Just to keep you here with me I have gone beyond my years I've wasted half my life But I found it all in you Did I save you? 'Cause I know you saved me too I love you, baby!
  15. Talyia

    Hear Me

    @Lorac I love you, baby and can't wait to get home to you!
  16. For @Lorac -- the love of my life and reason my heart keeps beating... Mary Lambert - So Far Away I'm million miles away from anywhere Slide my hand across the sheets Pretend you're there But missing you is a slow burn Every time the earth turns I'm reminded that night is only half the time Even when I'm hurting I know this is worth it Tell me it'll be alright Gotta give me something To get me through the nothing One more night Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear I'm a better person when I have you here Oh I, I, I got you and I, I can get through Anything as long as I can see your face Right now you're so far away, so far away So far away, so far away I don't need a map To tell me where you are You and I, we come from the same star Every day is a heartache And every night I lie awake I'm reminded that the bed is only half mine Even when I'm hurting I know this is worth it Tell me it'll be alright Gotta give me something To get me through the nothing One more night Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear I'm a better person when I have you here Oh I, I, I got you and I, I can get through Anything as long as I can see your face Right now you're so far away, so far away So far away, so far away Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear I'm a better person when I have you here Oh I, I, I got you and I, I can get through Anything as long as I can see your face Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear I'm a better person when I have you here Oh I, I, I got you and I, I can get through Anything as long as I can see your face Right now you're so far away, so far away So far away, so far away (so far away)
  17. If I am beautiful it's because of how you see me. If I know how to love it's because you love me.
  18. Soon baby.... soon the clock won't move so slow. Soon time won't matter because we'll finally be together. When I first see those eyes and kiss those lips all time will stand still and nothing will matter but you and me. I SO look forward to our future life together. I love you!
  19. Soon I will stop being half and start being one.
  20. I have always told those I care about they are forgiven before they ever fuck up. It is called love. More so Unconditional Love. When I say something you generally can take it to the bank as fact! And yet it goes in some peoples ears and out the other. I put myself out there for those who really matter to me. Almost like being naked for the world. No armor No Protection. And I really trust those people. But then it is like some of them decide to take it for granted and take that as a weakness. Sometimes I think I am foolish to believe all that is said to me in the moment by some. Why would someone actually want me to be a dad? Really? What makes me so special? Why me? But then in the heat of a moment they take it all back. Like a knife in the heart that is. This will pass just like time. And she is forgiven before the words left her mouth. It still does not remove the bitter taste left behind. Almost like a snakes venom it strikes at the heart. And yet they want to hurt them self to make be feel better? How does that fix things? What does that ever fix? Anyways there is my confusion. And with that I will close for now. Broken hearted and exposed, Me
  21. Talyia

    Growing Up

    Sometimes we say or do things that we see as unforgivable, but if we are truly loved we can be forgiven.... with time. The important thing is to realize our mistake, admit to it, and try to not do it again. In other words... grow up. Sometimes growing up hurts. Sometimes growing up means we have to feel the hurt we've done to others through them. But maybe that's what we need to feel to realize why we can't do what we did or said again. I'm sorry isn't enough sometimes. Sometimes that sorry has to come with proof. For those I have hurt because I was too young, too stupid, or too out of control to realize... I am truly sorry. I can feel what you feel. I can feel what I did. I hate myself for what I said, but I know you don't. You forgive.... I hope. I don't expect you to love like you did, but I hope that in time you can find a place for me again. Someday.
  22. Trouble in paradise. Well now the truth comes out. I am merely a convenient dad. Today I was cut deep. Sadly someone just does not get that "Sorry" does not cut the pain off. Words can sometimes hurt worse than physical. I love her and what is sad is I question that she loves me now. My fear is becoming reality ... Someone walking away from me. Time will tell 😞
  23. Hello community friends! Soon my destiny will be fulfilled and I will be standing in front of the one I've loved for SO long. I can't wait to be able to share the rest of my life with him. New adventures await us! Stay tuned for the ongoing party that is our life! I have died everyday, waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more
  24. Ugh 16 and a day's and it seems like 1 million years away still. So close yet so far away. Every minute eats at my soul. Time can not move fast enough. And yet there is not enough time to make everything perfect for her arrival.
  25. a little over 2 weeks.... and you're ALL MINE!!

    Love you, baby!

    1. Lorac

      King Lorac

      I Can hardly wait til you Cum home baby and you are mine ALL MINE AND NO ONE ELSES!!!!!

       

      I LOVE YOU MOISTEST BaBy!

  26. Thank you to everyone who stopped by to wish Lorac a very happy birthday! It was MUCH appreciated!! You all helped make his day brighter.
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